ME and MY BOSS
When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough
When I don't do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake, I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.
When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked
When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets
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Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
எட்டு வகை கம்ப்யூட்டர் பெண்கள்!
எட்டு வகை கம்ப்யூட்டர் பெண்கள்!
ப. பாலசுப்ரமணியன், எஃப்.எக்ஸ்.பொறியியல் கல்லூரி, திருநெல்வேலி
1. HARD DISK Girls -தேவையானது, தேவையில்லாதது எல்லாத்தையும் ஞாபகம் வச்சுக்குவாங்க. ஒரே இம்சை.
2. RAM Girls -சிம்பிள்... நீ அந்த பொண்ணை மறந்தா, அந்தப் பொண்ணு உன்னை மறந்துடும்.
3. SCREENSAVER Girls -பார்க்குறதுக்கு அட்ராக்ட்டீவா நல்லாத்தான் இருப்பாங்க. ஆனா 24x7 ஒரே ஸ்டைல் லுக். போரடிக்காது..?
4. INTERNET Girls -வாயைத் திறந்து பேச வைக்கிறதுக்குள்ள போதும், போதும்னு ஆயிடும். Refresh குடுத்தாலும் பல நேரம் மவுன மங்குனிதான். ‘ஏன்’னு நமக்கும் விளங்காது, அவங்களும் சொல்லமாட்டாங்க.
5. SERVER Girls - ‘பேசலாம், பார்க்கலாம்’னு நமக்கு எப்பல்லாம் தோணுதோ, அப்பல்லாம் கரெக்ட்டா பிஸியாயிடுவாங்க.
6. MULTIMEDIA Girls -மொக்கை மேட்டரைக் கூட ஃபீலிங் பவுடர் பூசி கலர்ஃபுல் கோந்து ஒட்டி இம்ப்ரஸ் பண்ற ஏவாள்ஸ்!
7. Mouse Girls - எதையும் தானா செய்யத் தெரியாது. ஒவ்வொண்ணையும் கையைப் பிடிச்சு ‘க்ளிக்’ பண்ணி சொல்லித் தரணும்.
8. VIRUS Girls -இவர்கள் பூலோகத்தில் மனைவி என்று அழைக்கப்படுகின்றனர்.
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Thanks:http://youthful.vikatan.com/youth/inbox1.asp
ப. பாலசுப்ரமணியன், எஃப்.எக்ஸ்.பொறியியல் கல்லூரி, திருநெல்வேலி
1. HARD DISK Girls -தேவையானது, தேவையில்லாதது எல்லாத்தையும் ஞாபகம் வச்சுக்குவாங்க. ஒரே இம்சை.
2. RAM Girls -சிம்பிள்... நீ அந்த பொண்ணை மறந்தா, அந்தப் பொண்ணு உன்னை மறந்துடும்.
3. SCREENSAVER Girls -பார்க்குறதுக்கு அட்ராக்ட்டீவா நல்லாத்தான் இருப்பாங்க. ஆனா 24x7 ஒரே ஸ்டைல் லுக். போரடிக்காது..?
4. INTERNET Girls -வாயைத் திறந்து பேச வைக்கிறதுக்குள்ள போதும், போதும்னு ஆயிடும். Refresh குடுத்தாலும் பல நேரம் மவுன மங்குனிதான். ‘ஏன்’னு நமக்கும் விளங்காது, அவங்களும் சொல்லமாட்டாங்க.
5. SERVER Girls - ‘பேசலாம், பார்க்கலாம்’னு நமக்கு எப்பல்லாம் தோணுதோ, அப்பல்லாம் கரெக்ட்டா பிஸியாயிடுவாங்க.
6. MULTIMEDIA Girls -மொக்கை மேட்டரைக் கூட ஃபீலிங் பவுடர் பூசி கலர்ஃபுல் கோந்து ஒட்டி இம்ப்ரஸ் பண்ற ஏவாள்ஸ்!
7. Mouse Girls - எதையும் தானா செய்யத் தெரியாது. ஒவ்வொண்ணையும் கையைப் பிடிச்சு ‘க்ளிக்’ பண்ணி சொல்லித் தரணும்.
8. VIRUS Girls -இவர்கள் பூலோகத்தில் மனைவி என்று அழைக்கப்படுகின்றனர்.
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Thanks:http://youthful.vikatan.com/youth/inbox1.asp
Ultimate Joke
A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were having lunch and Gujju said, "Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I'm going to jump off too."The sardaar opened his lunch and said, "Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I'm jumping
too"
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife. Scroll down for her answer ..................The sardaar's wife said,"Don't look at me.
He makes his own lunch!
Courtesy:www. englishcolumn.blogspot.com
too"
The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, Gujju's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!"The Madrasi's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him dossa! I didn't realize he hated idli sambhar so much."Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar's wife. Scroll down for her answer ..................The sardaar's wife said,"Don't look at me.
He makes his own lunch!
Courtesy:www. englishcolumn.blogspot.com
Don't mess with Women
FBI job opening:-
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and awoman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take yourwife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and wentinto the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said,"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun was loaded with false bullets" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!!"
MORAL:Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
courtesy: http://englishcolumn.blogspot.com/2008/05/dont-mess-with-women.html
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and awoman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take yourwife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and wentinto the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said,"You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This gun was loaded with false bullets" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!!"
MORAL:Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
courtesy: http://englishcolumn.blogspot.com/2008/05/dont-mess-with-women.html
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